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Self-Judgment: How to Turn Should Into Self-Acceptance

Have you ever been self-critical about your thoughts and actions? It is human nature to evaluate yourself, others and situations. However, when your day is filled with the word should, and maybe it's more than just checking in on how you're doing.

Friend, Jennifer, once told me: "There's just something wrong with me, I just cannot get rid of him." She continued to talk about how the only things that we can see how everything was wrong in her life. I had a feeling that people know what they really love and not love her. Her suffering became an option. Jennifer really thought that if they beat themselves first, and then no one can put her down. Behind just not feeling OK lived just beneath her skin.

Have you ever seen the world through someone else's glasses? The world seems a little twisted and distorted. I tried to focus, but it seems impossible. That's just what it's like to see the world through other provisions you. Sometimes, judging others becomes easier to look at the source of the cash. But chronic complainer about another person is a very width of the pain.

The fact of the matter is carried by the beauty at every step and the step you take. The image was shattered you are a person was injured for a long time. Maybe it was the word of the ill parent or perhaps a teacher. These ideas of self-criticism that happens automatically and quickly. So, the trick is to convert autonomy in self-love.

Become aware when you criticize yourself. Count how many times you say the word should today. Stop and reflect how disconnected what you think you should do and what is real in the world around you. In that space, give yourself grace. Usually self-judgment shows up in your body, whether it is a knot In your stomach or tightness in your chest. These are clues of the stress your body is feeling when self-judgment occurs. Breathe from your stomach and blow out through your mouth. Release the self-criticism with your breath.

Stop analyzing. When a critical thought pops in your head, just let it go. Now, I know that is easier said than done. It's when you pay attention to the thought that feeds the behavior. The negative thought sticks in your head and begins to become the center of your attention. Write down things you are grateful for and get up and do something physical. Just break the cycle of thought and note the sense of relief in your body.

Compassion. What would you say to another person if they were picked on? Maybe "It's ok, don't cry dear" or "that's just not true!" We would automatically reach out to someone to comfort a friend when they were feeling pain. Hold that same amount of compassion for yourself.

Start with just one self-judgment. Stop the chatter inside of the mind and begin the see you in the light of truth.

Lisa is the owner and stress management coach at Stress Relief Solutions. This business, formed in 2010 was born out of Lisa's passion for teaching and inspiring people to prioritize life tasks and reconnect with their inner peace. Lisa possesses an innate skill to motivate and empower people to live their passions fully. Lisa received a bachelor of science in occupational therapy from the University of Kansas in 1985. She currently lives in Knoxville, Tennessee.



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